Saturday, October 31, 2009
Last blogged @ 1:06 AM

Because the most precious things in the world is unseen , that's the reason why we closed our eyes when we kissed.

Kissing for a minute burns 26 calories . Who wanna lose weight ?

Friday, October 30, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:53 PM

Last wednesday , bus-ed down to town with my paranoid clique . I am extremely surprised by how fast it took us, as compared to taking the train . & after walking around for ages, finally settled down at WARAKU to fill our stomach(s).

It's my first time there , not bad, I must say. Nice ambience and relatively good service + the meal costs arnd 12bucks for a set which includes a free drink ( refillable if you choose cold/hot green tea ) , noodles ( choice of ramen , udon or soyu ) and rice/sushi ( the unagi's recommended ) .




Today , I came class an hour late. WHY? Don't ask , such a disgrace. Had lunch with chloe & company together with my beloved paranoid clique. Such a wide spread of food, guess what I had ?

Thursday, October 29, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:41 PM

IDEAS lesson - was figuring out how to use zbrush & trying to get inspirations , but to no avail . Got extremely frustrated and managed to persuade chris and pq to the library with me. Intended to look for design books, but I got excited by the DVDs again.

EMC tutorial - was attempting to watch " An American Haunting" but the lecturer kept us busy with this and that. tsktsk , so restless - think , write , draw . And of course, crapped. Time flies, was released half an hour early.

Intended to meet bf in the train but didn't realised he was dismissed at the same time as me. POOF !
There goes my peaceful mood , felt like crap but tried my best to calm myself down so I slept on the way home. Moody all the way till after dinner .

Been thinking hell loads (as usual) lately. Mood swings getting worse(as usual). No inspirations at all(as usual). Feel extremely fat(as usual).

I feel worried for my wealth . Been feeling extremely down lately for godknowswhy reasons , that I have the tendency to spend every single available cent in my wallet. HAISH :(

Looking forward to my JB trip this weekend to visit dear ah ma , hope she's able to make me feel better.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:09 PM

Woke up at 6.35am today with discomfort .

Godknowswhy then i felt extremely cold and can't stop shivering . Managed to drag myself out of the house with the parents. Hesitating about skipping class but decided not to for fear of mom going paranoid again .

Reached class late with my dramaqueen ( who still thought when she was early when I msg her at arnd 8am ) . Autocad lesson was alright, I think ? Headed to somerset with my paranoid clique in search of good food.

Settled down in waraku, yummy! & as usual, crapped & gossiped until I felt better . MIRACLE :D
Everything going well until bf called .Mood sank when he tells me he wanted to cancel our inital plans, went on a PMS rage.

Forgot about my rage when we went to the arcade in iluma . Had fun drumming along with my favourite fahrenheit songs . Then bf started to say about that again . BLAH BLAH BLAH~

In the end, he still came over back to my house , but no durains and no fun games.

Feel so sleepy about IDEAS designing thingy, no inspiration and i sucks in design .

Okay, pictures'll be uploaded soon.

Nights.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:43 PM

YES , I AM HAVING MY MOOD SWINGS , BUT NO, ITS NOT MY TIME OF THE MONTH...YET.

AND YES, I AM UPSET. WHY? I DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT TO YOU.

YES, YOU. DON'T FEEL LIKE TELLING EVEN YOU.

AND NO, PLEASE DON'T COME APOLOGISING TO ME BECAUSE I NEVER SAID ITS YOUR FAULT.

AND YES YES YES, I DO THINK ITS A GOOD IDEA TO JUST IGNORE ME DURING THIS PERIOD.

Monday, October 26, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:18 PM

Manage to persuade myself to upload some photos .

Last friday , msia cousin came over to spore for the first time. Had dinner at pepper lunch. Top left - my unagi+salmon set w/rice and bf's seafood ( top right ) Yummy ! & I received a surprise gift from a love in class ! She gave me stitch biscuits !!! loves loves loves ~

Last saturday , bf drove me to the 85 hawker centre at bedok for supper:



Last but not least , monday - went to HAN'S with PQ and CHRIS before we went to service out lappies at henderson.

THE END.

Sunday, October 25, 2009
Last blogged @ 1:56 PM

Okay , so I was being bitchy afterall .

Bf drove me out for supper last night , finally . Had bbq chicken wings, fried oyster omelette , bar zhor mee and sugar cane juice. Felt extremely bloated , maybe because I was already past my hunger pangs . Was craving for durain but a splitting headache came up due to the stupid smoke in the hawker centre.

I have been thinking - is it true that when someone gets attached in a R/S , do friends drift apart ?

Of course, there'll be many of us who said " of course won't la ! , can divide the time ma "

But, in reality , how many of us actually do that ?

Saturday, October 24, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:42 PM

I was told that the japanese fixed damaged things with gold , they belived that things that have been damaged and has a history are more beautiful than others. Thus, one day when you find the right person , he/she will see your true beauty , damages and all .

I hope I am able to shed some fats today . I had only one meal - chicken rice at 1.30pm. I do feel hunger pangs eating my inner organs now , though I am trying to resist the urge to eat anything. In such a bad mood now , 2009 is really not my year.

I doubt I can find any word to describe how I'm feeling now. I just wish you could be less dumb and think more. Is this an insult to you ? If yes, then too bad. I always have to tell you everything - how I feel, what I want blah blah .

So what happens when I refuse to say anything ? I become a bitch to you. I am so starting to detest the word "bitch" now , it sounds more like an insult. I feel like I am capable of smacking the next person who calls me a bitch , so think twice before you bitch me .

I don't know how you keep seeing the bad side of me, when I'm always lectured by my parents for taking sides with you always. You're such an asshole sometimes, that I feel so stupid to be holding on to us. No matter what shit I told you or what shit I've went through , I still tell myself I will hold on.

But I suppose that doesnt counts like anything to you ? Because all you does is say how much I don't appreciate you blah blah. You're tired . You're tired of me and my bitchy attitude , me and my mood swings , me and my demands.

Then why're you still here ?

Last blogged @ 12:15 AM

Reach class late , AVS lecture at 1030am .

Good thing we made it in time just before MrChin marked our attendance. Beginning to think that AVS , especially the lighting part 's something like physics & ELDDS which by luck , I've learnt previously . All about the lumen and illuminance , but not so detailed and complicated. Just that I do somehow get the picture what's the purpose of learning this module.

Lunch @ FC2 . We got excited over MAC 's new monopoly game thingy , but then it all dies down after I decided to gave my game pieces to a ex-schoolmate. HAHAX, then PQ didn't want hers too, but I kope her milkshake piece.

GEMS - Know Your Rights. Sat with chloe ! Extremely surprised how well the lecture turns out , very interesting with the lecturer showing us different newspaper articles and telling us the different kinds of view points , our rights bla bla. Sounds kinda boring here, but the lecturer's cool :D

Do you know that even though you've registered under ROM for marraige, you're not officially married unless you've sexual intercourse with your the other half ?

And, that it's actually impossible if a wife said her husband rapes her, because when you married to the other half, you're actually consenting to the sexual intercourse , and by rights, it is deem impossible to say your husband rapes you. This sounds pretty bullshit to me, because what if the husbands turns out to be some sex-manic ?!

There's also a uproar about the instructors who trained military trainees with the "dunking their heads in water if they refused to answer the question " . This practice has been going on for years, but nobody complained/stop anything. It only got everyone's rage when an accident happens, and some trainees died.

It's a tragedy but actually, the instructors were merely following the instructions given . So how come when they were the only ones being blamed and hated by the public ? I like the way the lecturer shares his thinking. It makes me wonder and think " ya hor ! "

PM tutorial was the last lesson for the shaggy friday . Got extremely fcuked up with the lecturer because she's just so *&&^%%#! Rushed off to AMK hub to meet mom & cousin for movie, and guess what !?

Was just about to buy the movie tickets when bf called to ask where am I . Bad coincidences happen many times, he has just reached outside my class ! For a moment, I was really speechless because I don't know how to tell him I've just reach amk hub without him blowing up.

OH WELLS, managed to calm him down and get him to come back to amk hub. Cancelled the movie plan, went for dinner at pepper lunch . Anw, I manage to taste the chocolate milkshake which I redeemed outside AMK hub. It tastes extremely frozen but tasted better after "thawing" if for 1/2 hour.




ben dan, i know i was like lecturing you for not checking the time I was dismissed correctly, but I 'm really happy you took the effort to surprise me, and by trying to find your way to my class . muackx !

Thursday, October 22, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:35 PM

551 posts.

I have been thinking plently recently, school has been a drag due to my depressing results last semester. It has been rather demoralising , as it does bring back plenty of unhappy flashbacks. But I guess the fault lies with me, in the end.

I haven't been trying hard enough, I guess. Nothing's ever enough . EMC lessons has set me wondering about many things. I suppose guys and girls never think on the same frequency , no matter how hard they try. Perhaps that's the reason why I'm such a demanding girlfriend who only cares about myself to you.

Everyone says hurtful stuff when they get too angry. You are no exception. You know, I don't really take them to heart , I just dont know how to explain everything when I got so upset over what you said. It's a funny thing. You said I always break your heart, does that means my heart's made of steel ?

School's tough - ECONS is a killer. &there're many modules that requires the use of software(s) this semester. I hate them, even autocad. I never fancy any usage of software because I simply sucks too much at it. I fear for my results , but what's the use of fear ?

Been doing reflections lately . There are things that I've did that I have really regretted, but remorse doesn't helps. I am really hoping I am able to get an A for a module this semester. Or perhaps just all B's will do. I am easily contented, I think.

Is giving flowers the trend now ? I see many people receiving flowers . I like flowers even though they ain't practical .Because you see, I am actually a hopeless romantic . I have only received 4 stalks of roses in my life. This seems pathetic. Haish.

Sometimes, I do get really tired of everything and I feel like popping some pills and just go to a deep sleep for a very long time. But I don't , you know why ? Because it's stupid , I think of ah ma and others who cared about me . I cannot bear to see anyone I love being hurt.

Did you doubt my love ? Is that why you are unable to see how hurt I am whenever you're upset ? If it pains you to see me in pain, then what makes you think I won't feel the same way ? I feel like LOL-ing at you , at times.

I think my mood swings are starting to blow in . I feel like I'm blabbering millions of words here. Perhaps I should get some sleep to calm my raging hormones.

Last blogged @ 9:01 PM

Aching all over today :[

Tongbang dad's work van to school today, had lunch with my paranoid clique at kou fu. Finally satisfied my craving for salmon.

Installed the zbrush software for IDEAS , its supposedly to be a very expensive & useful software for design but perhaps I've yet to master the art of designing it with zbrush, that I don't find this software of any much use... yet.

Intended to check out the book fair at the library, only to find it ends at 4.30pm ! Thus, we browsed around and ended up borrowing hell lot of DVDs home, I borrowed seven ! goodness, my aching got worse on my way home, HAHAX .

It's gonna be a long day tmr, haish. A msian cousin coming over tmr, am kinda looking forward to it because I got this gut feeling the parents 'll be eating out = good food !

:D

Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:48 PM

At 08:56am this morning, I received a msg that reads " Ben Dan.. Good Morning.. And i loved you for the past 22 months And will love you forever. "

I felt happy, then freaked out, then sad. Such a wonderful mixture of feelings that even yours truly don't even know how i'm suppose to react. oh wells, was dismissed rather early today. Woke up at 6.15am sharp, went out of house at 7am sharp , was keeping myself awake with the aid of my DS .

Headed to class, went to install autocad '09 , then we are dismissed. SHAGGED, woke up so early for this and you know, my laptop's going to be brought for servicing soon :x

Bf called at arnd 11am , telling me that he has just reached his school to find out his lessons for the day has been cancelled. I was LOL-ing because ... ohwells, i'm just being mean. ANW, went to meet him at his school.

Had issues, more issues and even more issues deciding where to go and what to do. Got frustrated that he's not planning anything interesting and some other things. Oh wells, had a hard time telling myself not to take everything to heart on accord of what happened last night.

Mood lifted up after food-spree in tampines. Got thebodyshop shower gels ! tsktsk, as usual, somebody tell me it's very ex, and ended up paying with his NETS :D



muackx muackx !

Okay, I was bitchy today because I didnt get enough sleep , I am really worn out that I smell a fever coming my way, I am upset that you forgot about my fahrenheit book. But nvm, the shower gels 're a practical replacement.

Everything 's appreciated ! I know you 're feeling down over last night yet you had to cheer me up when I keep sulking throughout the whole day . THANKSTHANKSTHANKS , don't tell me I never thank you .

I'm tired, I wanna sleep . Here's some eye candy :

Monday, October 19, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:29 PM

Just received a goodnight sms from him , its not a normal goodnight msg.

Why ?

Because tonight's one of the few times he :

#1. Tells me he's happy w/o me asking him countless times
#2. Is happy because I tried to surprise him today
#3. Added the three little words into msg

Okay, I think I am happy enough to hear all of it and go to bed now. Goodnights people :D

Last blogged @ 10:50 PM

First lesson of the first day of school was alright, couldn't really catch what the lecturer's saying because PQ told me MoMo Love is out online.

9am - 1pm lesson today, was dismissed earlier than expected. Headed to JustAcia at douby gaut (again!) with my paranoid clique. After lunch, it was 3pm alrdy! How time flies, was actually intending to head home early to do the awaiting housechores, but felt lazy so decided to surprise bf.

Headed to his school & oh well, its not a success really, since he said I always ask many questions whenever I want to surprise him, so he more or less, expected to see me :( I felt extremely out of place because I was wearing my SP shirt and people kept staring at me like ...

Ridiculously stupid, felt like screaming their head off that NYP's not just open to only nyp students. I can still walk in . HAHAX, so lame.

Acc bf & his friends arnd, we walked to amk hub. Sorta put off walking for a distance under the hot sun, but bf was sweet enough to carry my bag.

Me : Is it heavy ?
Him : Nah, only 5kg ma. Where will heavy ? ( in an extremely sarcastic tone )

Lesson tmr at 10am, I am looking forward to wednesday :D

Sunday, October 18, 2009
Last blogged @ 12:01 AM

Been bearing a freaking ache on my left arm since yesterday , hurts like hell.

And yes, I think mom's right , I'm about to have a fever soon.

Yes , 2009 cannot get any worse , fcuked up year. I feel like beating the hell out of someone now, the hormones inside me are raging with fury.

Saturday, October 17, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:20 PM

Went JB today with mom & relatives to visit dearest ah ma :)

I am seriously not feeling well, been lau sai-ing recently and I keep feeling cold to my bones in such a humid weather. Having second thoughts about going when I woke up this morning groggily, but oh wells, I still went to see ah ma !

Breakfast at the pearl restaurant near 4th aunt's house as usual. Then headed to Sutera Mall with mom & cousin and bf first. Decided to try archery to pass time while waiting for the others and ah ma to arrive for lunch.

A rather interesting experience though I did not get any bull's eye. Arms were trembling like jellies due to the lack of strenght and the bow thingy's actually rather heavy !



After that, took a rest and I had durain mousse cake & coffee ! Loving it because it's simply too fragrant and not too sweet or bitter.

Friday, October 16, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:43 PM

Good News #1. Managed to persuade mom to lift my "grounded" rules .

Good News #2. He came over & we had a really nice lunch.

Good News #3. Finally, yours truly went Wild Wild Wet.



He called really early today, I was still sleeping and he has already arrived on my doorstep. Packed , ( and as usual ) he had to use my laptop for his games , then we headed for lunch. Was behind our "scheduled time " , so we got restless in the bus ride there.

Last blogged @ 1:36 AM

I can't sleep , think I am going to go back to school looking extremely hideous with my eye bags & circles. And, i think i'm really fat ! :x

I think I am really getting too excited, all his fault :D

I shall try to get some sleep so that I will look more presentable tmr . hehs :)

Last blogged @ 12:29 AM

Thursday, October 15, 2009
Last blogged @ 4:57 PM

Somewhere between our long talks, stupid little fights and all our jokes, I fall in love with you.

Last blogged @ 3:28 PM

I don't know why do we go through this endless cycle of unhappiness, when all's said and done, nothing changes.

You are tired. I know , hasn't this been the reason why I've suggesting for us to take a break ?

I guess it will be better.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Last blogged @ 12:39 AM

Finally - met up my paranoid clique & gweny, chloe , frankie & jojo for our sweet little picnic. I was very late due to my cramps and lau sai-ing. sorry for the waiting, hahax ! Especially my dramaqueen who was so puntual today :)

Headed to East Coast Park. The food prepared and bought by each of us were simply too yummy for words. Played games to finish up the left-overs, the birds kept disturbing us which resulted in PQ's dramas.




Look at gweny and jojo ( bottom left ) Cute right ! I think they found some treasure :)





Due to the rainy weather half way, we decided to cancel cycling and went to some shelter. Crapped , talked, laughed . Nice, I like :) so cosy with good company !




Group photos.

Went off at around 5pm plus, PQ and me head to tampines for dinner. Got ourselves deep in fascination at diva, bought similar accessories again ! Finally saw a charm bracelet that suit our little wrists :)

A good day spent today despite my unknown cramps. The only little upsetting thing was about that .

I guess I dont see the need for me to say much from now on anymore. It maybe better for both of us.

Monday, October 12, 2009
Last blogged @ 12:03 AM

After all the screaming conversations ended, someone tried to apologise for everything. I do feel like laughing out loud though, because I have been the one screaming throughout the whole conversation.

A call at 11.58pm that sorta settled everything.

Isn't it amazing how much a song can do ?

Sunday, October 11, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:01 PM

Vivian said :

so, y cant he keep memories ?
u keep memories v ur EX rite?
jz tat not in written form
so...mayb he's wrong 4 not telling u tat he kept the diary
bcuz he dun wish tat there's another reason for u 2 to quarrel..

Last blogged @ 3:25 PM

Okay , maybe I was overwhelmed with rage , jealousy , hurt , blah blah blah over the diary.

In fact , actually I am still feeling rather upset over it. But I guess everyone has a past and I do not need anyone to remind me of my past. Yes, I was stupid enough .

I read it somewhere from a friend . She said everyone is trying to hide their past, I don't have the guts to tell her that I couldn't agree with her more. The past hurts .

I realised , I am not the first . I realised , I did not understand you inside-out like I thought I know you. I realised , words... are extremely cheap.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS

I realised why do you keep saying I'm fat .

Because I'm not like her, I can't be stick-skinny. I can't let my waist be let hers, since her waist is the size of my thigh !?!? And, only one of my thigh .

Yes, I am fat . AND YES, I MIND EVERY WORD you said the other day. so don't come telling me you're joking and how i'm impossible to find.

Because yes, a girl fat like me is impossible to find.

Last blogged @ 2:18 PM

Met up my loves yesterday.


Been dinosaur months since we saw each other, especially the botak guys ! Headed to the mind cafe @ Boat Quay. We took ages to find the place, walked around in circles but nevertheless, I think we all had fun :)

CANDID TAKES !

hahax, hung ping ( top-left ) & rachy ( bottom-right ) looks hell funny ! I can't stop laughing whenever I look at the pictures.

The photo taken below is thanks to pax's "awesome" photo-taking skills .

Friday, October 9, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:01 PM

Last tuesday 061009 , it was dad's 44th birthay . Went for zhu char ( again ! ) for a simple celebration .



Last wednesday , went to collect my F1 pay with bf . Headed for ice monster - we had mango shaved ice with strawberry sherbert !

Looking forward to meeting up my loves tmr !

:)

Last blogged @ 12:37 AM

I remember someone used to say that whenever he felt like throwing his temper at me, he will think of all the happy things we've did to calm himself down .

"If we cannot find the feeling

That we held on to together

Try your hardest to remember"


I am so tired of trying to be so sensible, so good, so obedient, so dumb . I am so tired of biting my tongue in front of the little ones to keep myself from sweating and cursing. I am so tired of being the one to hold on to everything when everything falls apart.

I don't want to be the one everyone's singing praises of. I 'm suffocatting under so much expectations and praises. I am tired of smiling when I'm screaming .

I have fail-ed so many times in my life . As a daughter, as a grand-daughter, as a sister, as a girlfriend, as a friend. I am so tired of everyone's disappointment. Does anyone cares about mine ?

There are times that I feel like breaking the rules too.

Thursday, October 8, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:28 PM

* me, using the laptop *

* screaming & mumbling, but I know anywhere it belongs to mom *

mom : where's my money !? why you steal my money, take already never return me !?

me : huh? what money !? since when I take your money ?

mom : you get your pay already, how come never give me money !? where's the cheque ? where's your bank book !?

me : umm. i forgot to withdraw the money ma, tmr withdraw liao give you lor. today went over his house ma ..

mom : what forgot !? go his house more important or the money important !? Can't you know the importance !? then why still ask me for your bankbook yesterday !?

me: aiyah.. ask the book so I can write my account number behind the cheque ma, you scared what ? tmr I go withdraw give you lo . what steal your money !? * thinking , WTF . HER MONEY LEA. I worked my guts out & she complained that I didnt do the housechores when I go work, NOW she says I'm stealing HER money. wow . *

mom : RIDICULOUS ! where got mother still need to ask for money ?! how dare you !? you better watch out !? now dont want give me money already right ...

me : (cuts in) since when i said I dont want give you money !? I only said I forgot and i 'll give you tmr.

mom : WAA.. YOU *&^^%$$#@! ...

me : ( mumbles ) just shut up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before the above heated conversation, I was enjoying myself with bf & family . Were dining at ubin first stop seafood restaurant @ changi village. I was happily scooping out my coconut , slurping all the juices. Playing games with bf, where the loser got to dunk that glass of heineken.

I was literally in cloud 9, thinking : woots, today didnt quarrel with bf like finallyy , mom didnt keep calling like finallyy , kido didnt keep spamming me with stupid sms-es like finallyy.

And, poof ! here comes mom's very heated and unreasonable conversation .

Such a wet blanket.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:39 PM

I can't remember when I got really tired of all the misunderstanding and poor communication between us . Every phone call at night seems like a threat for us , is that why you are always so reluctant to call ? Because 7/10 calls you made got us into nothing but the whole cycle of quarelling.

I guess you're tired of everything too. I am , so I don't make those cards anymore . I don't feel like drawing anymore, I feel inferior for everything I've drawn or DIY . It's such a disgrace for an ex-art student. I feel like I've failed really badly for my once - passion.

What's the point of those DIY things when it's not appreciated ? I think things have changed for us. You said I'm always all about me, but I guess you never realise how much you've changed too.

I think we both need a break.

Last blogged @ 1:44 AM

I cant get my eyes off this ! ! !

I simply have to be such a kind-hearted sweet little girl to share this super-duper

CUTE

HANDSOME

COOL

HOT

GOOFY

FUNNY

FRIENDLY

NICE

bla bla bla ( you all know what I'm trying to say right ?! )

GUY with all my dear fans of my blog :


JIRO 汪东城 ♥

Last blogged @ 1:18 AM

Belated Mooncake Festival photos !

Checked my email & I realised cousin sent me the photos a few days ago . hehs , see we all so engrossed into the DS / PSP . Mom & relatives were happily manjong-ing as usual .

And OMFG, look at my fats ! ! !



Headed down the block to help aunt hang the latterns up ! So pretty right , and I think cousin took all my very candid and un-glam photos :(

Played with the sparklers which freak-ed the shit out of me and cousin(s) and I believe, literally everyone because the sparklers are like @#^^!^&* they keep shooting & bursting everywhere.

Managed to pose for some photos with the crazy sparklers.